


In the Hands of Love by babs

by babs



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-17
Updated: 2011-04-17
Packaged: 2017-10-18 06:27:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/185975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babs/pseuds/babs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An off-world accident has repercussions for Jack's and Daniel's relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Hands of Love by babs

Jack twisted in the seat of the small vehicle he was in. He hated sitting in the back seat at the best of times. Being seated in the back seat of a vehicle on a planet where everyone was shorter than you was pure torture.

The Viilliatae didn't believe in comfort in their cars. Wait, Jack corrected himself, he wasn't traveling in a car. Daniel had corrected him on it more than once. He was traveling in a troippocho, a word Daniel explained was a derivation of the ancient Greek the ancestors of this planet had spoken when transplanted here by the Goa'uld. Jack didn't care. He was careful to call the vehicle by its correct name in the presence of their so gracious hosts, but in his mind, it was a car. It had wheels, a steering mechanism and an engine. That was good enough for him. Besides, he couldn't get his tongue around troippocho and sound vaguely intelligible. Even pocho, the shortened form of the term, had Jack stumbling over the syllables. Their hosts looked at him with sympathetic eyes and made allowances.

Jack shifted once more, stretching out his legs and bumping them into the back of the passenger seat. Wouldn't you just know Daniel had to have his seat pushed back as far as it would go so he had room for his long legs.

He scowled at Daniel. Not that it helped. Daniel was deep in an animated conversation with their driver, M'rin. He supposed he shouldn't be so uncharitable. This mission had been a dream for both Daniel and Carter. Carter was thrilled to study the ways the Viilliatae used naqadah in their technology, Daniel was ecstatic studying the ancient documents telling of the Viilliatae's successful war against the Goa'uld. Even Teal'c was able to do something, spending long hours with Daniel at the monastery where the scrolls were kept. Jack had little else to do for the past week than attend the state dinners their hosts held for SG-1 each evening.

He stared out the window at the passing scenery; Daniel's chatter with M'rin a soft background noise. The land here, in contrast with the lush farmland around the cities they'd visited, was barren, only a few trees dotting a mostly rocky landscape.

"M'rin?" Jack leaned forward at a break in the conversation. "This doesn't look familiar. This isn't the way we came from the Stargate."

Daniel half turned in his seat to face Jack, tucking one leg up under the other, raising his eyebrows in question. He gave a small smile as he realized the new route didn't alarm Jack.

"No, Colonel," M'rin answered, her eyes never leaving the road. "This is a shorter way to the Stargate complex from the Valley of the Gods."

The Valley of the Gods, an impressive name for the place they'd just been. The Viilliatae had been entranced with Daniel's interest in their history. Scholars were held in reverence on this world and they had invited him to visit the Valley of the Gods, a rare honor. Teal'c and Sam returned to Earth two days ago; Jack and Daniel receiving permission to remain on the planet for a side trip to the Valley. The Valley of the Gods hadn't been anything impressive to Jack, but Daniel was in seventh heaven, trekking over the rocks with M'rin, not complaining once at the hard hiking. He exclaimed over the petroglyphs found there, chattering to Jack about their significance in the history of this world. Not allowed to film the site, Daniel spent countless hours hunkered down in the daytime heat sketching in his field notebook.

Daniel was going to need a vacation after this mission, Jack thought, already planning a few easy days of downtime with his favorite archaeologist. And even though the Valley of the Gods held no particular excitement for Jack, he enjoyed watching Daniel's joy at discovery.

"The land here is quite desolate," Daniel added, looking out the side window.

"My people call it The Barrens. Many, many turns of the sun ago, our people lived here. When one wishes to...ah...communicate with the ancient ones, one comes here for solitude."

Jack grinned with amusement as Daniel seized on M'rin's words.

"Ancient ones?"

"The ones who have gone before us, Dahnee." M'rin called Daniel by the name her people had given him. "Ancestors."

Daniel nodded. "So you come here to communicate with your ancestors? Your personal ancestors, the collective ones of the Viilliatae?"

"Yes and also more. Some people fail to see the beauty of this land. They come here to desecrate it. Some come just for scenery. I thought that you would enjoy seeing more of our land than just the cities."

Jack looked out the window, the scoured landscape beautiful in its own way. "Thank you for showing us this, M'rin." He let the motion of the car rock him to sleep.  


* * *

  
"M'rin? What's wrong?" The alarm in Daniel's voice had Jack instantly on alert.

"Desecrators." M'rin spat out. "They use this land as a place to show off their speed."

Jack leaned forward and saw the two distant blobs of gray racing up the roadway towards them. There was no shoulder, no way for M'rin to get them out of the way. They could only hope that one of the two vehicles coming towards them passed the other and moved out of the way.

It was over in a moment; the vehicles coming towards them at what seemed an impossible speed and then a brief glimpse of red streaking past while he was thrown to the right. He caught a glimpse of terror on Daniel's face, heard a sound like thunder and closer noise. Metal hitting rock, world turned upside down. Pain and then silence.  


* * *

Jack woke up, for a moment not remembering where he was or what had happened. His door hung open and Jack looked around.

"Daniel? M'rin?" His calls yielded no answer and when Jack pushed himself up he could see that the front seats were empty and the windshield shattered.

He bit down against the pain in his shoulder and ignored the twinges from his knees as he inched his way out of the seat and onto the ground.

There was a glimpse of blue-black hair-M'rin. She'd been thrown from the vehicle and lay crumpled against a tree.

"M'rin?" Jack made his way to her, whispering her name, touching her, feeling for a pulse although he knew she was already dead, her neck broken. "Oh, M'rin." He let his hand rest a moment on her cool forehead before moving stiffly from her side. Jack stopped a few feet away, hard breathing. His knees felt like water and he could almost hear his heart pounding in his ears. Jack reached up to rub a hand through his hair and could feel the nervous tremors at the motion.

"Daniel?" He called again, refusing to believe that Daniel could also be dead. His mouth was dry and he had to swallow hard to get the saliva to call again.

"Daniel!" He tried to keep the growing panic from his voice and heard the moan over his pounding heartbeat.

"I'm coming," Jack called, picking his way back over the rocks. "Hang on, Daniel, I'm coming."

His heart sank as he took in Daniel's position, wedged halfway on his side between a stubby bush and the car. The car must have spun and rolled on its way over the bank, throwing out Daniel and then landing half on top of him. Jack fell to his knees, feeling for a pulse, letting out a sigh as he felt a beat under his fingertips.

"Okay, okay." Jack spoke to himself, hoping that even in his unconscious state, Daniel could hear him. Jack wiped his face, not surprised to find it covered with cold sweat. "We're gonna see what we've got here, Daniel." After he wiped his wet palm on his thigh, Jack cupped his palm on Daniel's upturned cheek, the other cheek resting in muck.

"You with me yet? Huh, Daniel? Come on." A small groan was his answer and Jack watched as Daniel's eyelids fluttered for a few seconds. "C'mon. That's it. Wake up for me." Jack tapped Daniel's cheek once more. He took a few deep breaths and shivered despite the warm air. Jack felt like he could run a few miles as the adrenaline continued to surge through his system.

"Huh?" Daniel's eyes flew open at Jack's continued calling of his name.

"Hey there," Jack smiled as Daniel blinked his eyes a few times. Concussion, Jack diagnosed as Daniel finally kept his eyes opened and regarded him dazedly.

"Wha...happ...?" Daniel slurred.

"We were in an accident," Jack explained, wondering if Daniel even knew what planet they were on.

"Oh." Daniel seemed to accept the words with little emotion. "Jack? I'm stuck." His voice rose and he wiggled slightly. Jack placed a finger at Daniel's neck, the pulse racing beneath his fingertip.

"Accident? Who was hurt? Are you hurt?"

Jack put his hand on Daniel's shoulder as the other man continued to move. "I'm fine, Daniel. Just fine.

"I want you to stay still for a little bit, Danny. Just want to check you out." Jack moved his hand to the crown of Daniel's head and began running his fingers lightly over Daniel's skull. "You let me know if it hurts anywhere."

"Uh huh." Daniel closed his eyes again, breathing through his mouth in harsh pants.

"Not yet." Jack shook his head. "I need you to keep me company. Open your eyes. Stay with me just a little longer. I need you to tell me where it hurts." Jack wasn't too sure he was going to get coherent responses but as long as Daniel responded at all he was counting his blessings.

Jack began ticking off his mental list: assess Daniel's physical condition, assess the situation, figure out what they had, what they needed ,and just how the hell he was going to get them out of this.

"Ow." Daniel groaned right as Jack's fingers found a knot on the back of his head. "That hurt."

"Doesn't seem too bad," Jack said wanting to keep Daniel calm. "Anything else hurt?"

"Left arm," Daniel admitted.

Jack looked at the car and then back at Daniel. Daniel was almost flat on his stomach, his left arm caught underneath his body, the car resting on him from the waist down. Not a good situation at all.

They were on a downslope, Daniel's head in a mucky puddle of stagnant water. The water didn't appear deep; Daniel's nose and mouth were above it. Jack could only hope that Daniel hadn't breathed in any of the dirty water.

"M'rin!" Daniel tried to push himself up once more and collapsed back on the ground, panting in pain. "Jack, you have to help M'rin." He closed grimy fingers around Jack's. Jack could feel the tremors and he covered the fingers with his own, squeezing them.

"She's taken care of, Daniel." Jack patted Daniel's shoulder and then began running a hand down Daniel's spine.

"Where is she?" Daniel insisted. "Is she hurt? Is she stuck?"

"No, not stuck." Jack noted Daniel's flinch when he touched his ribs. "That hurt?"

"A little," Daniel gasped out, trying to turn his face away from the pain and coughing when he got water in his mouth.

Jack watched as Daniel blinked rapidly as sweat ran into his eyes, causing them to water. He took off his jacket and wiped Daniel's face with it.

"Hang on a sec." Jack looked around for something to use. The contents of the trunk were scattered on the path their car had taken on the way down.

"Not going...anywhere." Daniel gave a weak smile that faded almost as soon as it appeared.

"Hey for all I know a Unas could come around and drag you off." Jack took a few steps to retrieve the case that held Daniel's laptop.

"Dragging would be good, Jack," Daniel whispered as Jack raised his head and placed it on the laptop. "Get me out from under here."

"Give me a chance, Daniel." Jack rubbed at his head with his left hand. "I'm thinking here." He couldn't help his raised voice. He couldn't think; his hands were shaking, his mind was racing in circles not giving him a solution right away. Anger warred with fear and a desperate need to act.

"Jack," Daniel said, "not mad at you." It was the shakiness in Daniel's voice that brought Jack back to the present.

Jack studied the car. Its perch was precarious and he feared that any attempt to push it off of Daniel from its current position would cause it to shift and crush Daniel. He knelt on the ground next to Daniel, bending to see under the car. He stretched his left arm under the vehicle, his fingers grazing first Daniel's thigh and then his knee.

Daniel coughed. "Tickles."

Turning his head and closing his eyes, Jack sent up a silent prayer of thanks. Feeling in his legs at least and as far as Jack could tell Daniel's legs didn't appear broken. He was just *stuck.* The ground was mushy and Jack thought he might be able to dig Daniel out. He backed up carefully, looking at the blood on his hand as he pulled it out from under the car.

"They still attached?" Daniel was regarding him unblinking.

"Forcryingoutloud, stop joking about it," Jack snapped. He wiped his hand on his pants hoping that Daniel hadn't seen the blood.

"Sorry, Jack." Daniel twisted, trying to turn onto his side. He let out a groan at the movement.

Jack touched Daniel's side. "No. I'm sorry." He took a deep breath. He couldn't lie to Daniel, still regretted the one time he did lie to him. "Look, you're bleeding. I can't tell if it's bad or not. The car isn't in the best position for me to move it and I don't know if I can dig you out."

"Go for help." Daniel gripped Jack's wrist. "Leave me and go for help. M'rin can tell you..."

"M'rin's dead," Jack blurted out. "She's dead, Daniel. I don't even know where the hell we are."

"You'll think of something, Jack. I trust you." Daniel didn't take his eyes off Jack. He shivered once, twice. "My head hurts."

Crawling up the hill a few yards, Jack pulled his smashed pack back with him to Daniel's side. He opened it, not surprised to find most of its contents destroyed. The first aid kit he carried seemed mostly intact and Jack pulled out a blister pack of Tylenol.

"Daniel."

He held the pills out and waited until Daniel's eyes opened again. "Here." When Daniel opened his mouth he popped them in. "No water. I'm sorry."

"We're gonna be fine, Jack," Daniel said, after dry swallowing the pills with a grimace. "Just fine." His words faded as he drifted to sleep or maybe unconsciousness, Jack wasn't sure which.

Jack kept his hand on Daniel's back until he felt Daniel's breathing even out. He looked around their surroundings assessing the situation. They'd slid perhaps fifty feet down the embankment. Jack stared up the hill. It wasn't particularly steep, but it has highly unlikely that anyone driving the road would see them. He left Daniel's side and went to M'rin's body. He laid her out flat, straightening her limbs. Unsure of the planet's customs of caring for their dead, he dug out an emergency blanket and covered her with it. Jack didn't know if he had to worry about local fauna as dusk began to fall. He knew there were supplies to build a fire, but with the vehicle on top of Daniel, he had to be concerned about the danger of an explosion. The Viilliatae didn't use petroleum products for fuel, but he wasn't certain that the substance they did use wouldn't explode if a spark came in contact with it.

He climbed over the rocky ground to Daniel's side, taking the other emergency blanket and covering what was exposed of Daniel's body. Jack paused, pressing his fingers to Daniel's neck. The pulse was steady if a bit fast. But Daniel's breathing was even and his skin didn't have that cold clammy feel that would have indicated shock. First things first Jack reminded himself. He patted Daniel's cheek and then slid his hand to Daniel's back, feeling the slight rise as Daniel breathed.

"Be right back," Jack whispered to the sleeping man. He began making his way up the hill, the small rocks sliding out under his boots causing him to slip a few times.

"Shit," Jack yelled as his hand contacted the ground, jarring his arm all the way up to his shoulder. He glanced down the hill, hoping that his clambering up the slope wasn't making Daniel's precarious situation any worse. But it didn't look like the rocks were sliding any great distance.

He stood at the top of the hill and wiped his face on his sleeve. The road was deserted just as he'd feared. Someone driving this highway in the coming darkness wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary. The Viilliatae didn't believe in guardrails, so no broken rails or wires indicated a vehicle had gone off the road. Jack grabbed a rock from the hillside and scratched it on the road's surface pleased when it left a white mark. He drew an arrow pointing to the side on the roadway, wrote help in huge letters and looked up into a darkening sky. Jack placed the rock on the shoulder of the road and began picking his careful way back down the hill wincing at each jar to his knee.

"Jack?" Daniel's voice carried in the still air. "Jack?"

"I'm here." Jack knelt down by Daniel's head, cupping Daniel's cheek in his hand relieved to feel that the skin was still warm and dry.

"Where? I thought..." Daniel blinked up at him. "You're hurt."

"I'm not hurt." Jack shook his head. At the frown wrinkling Daniel's forehead he amended his statement. "Okay, my shoulder's sore. Guess it got banged up in the crash."

He stretched out on his side once more, his left arm under the car, wincing at the pain that had settled in his shoulder. "I think I can dig you out, Daniel." Jack was relieved to feel that Daniel's legs were still warm. "Might take a while." He rested on his side, looking at Daniel's face.

Daniel appeared calm. "Okay."

Jack closed his eyes, hoping that Daniel's trust in him wasn't misplaced. He'd be able to get Daniel out, of that he had no doubt. Getting Daniel the help he needed was another story.

"What's the situation, Jack?" Daniel reached out with his right hand and clasped Jack's forearm in an awkward grip. "The truth."

"I haven't lied to you, Daniel," Jack said, rubbing his thumb on Daniel's cheek.

"I know you haven't," Daniel whispered. "But I wanted you to know I need to hear the truth. We're in this together Jack. We're going home together."

Jack gave a curt nod. "Okay, Daniel. Here it is. I walked up to the road. There is no way anyone is going to notice we're down here. I wrote a message on the road. But you heard M'rin. This is not a place many people visit. The chances of being found aren't good. I don't even know where the hell we are." Jack curled his hand into a fist and pounded it into his thigh.

Daniel covered his hand, stilling the motion. "Stop. It's not your fault, Jack. You had no way of anticipating this. No way at all."

After taking a few deep breaths, Jack nodded again. "It's gonna take a while to get you out of there, Daniel. And when I do get you out, it's probably gonna hurt like hell."

"I know." Daniel squeezed Jack's hand. "But hey, we're alive. It could be worse."

Letting out a cross between a sigh and a snort, Jack looked at their hands and then smiled. "Yeah. Guess you're right." He let go of Daniel's hand. "I've got to start trying to get you out from under there." He straightened and then rubbed his hands on his pants.

"Shovel. There's a collapsible shovel in my pack," Daniel said.

Jack nodded and pulled Daniel's pack closer, rummaging through it. He held the shovel up, showing it to Daniel. Daniel smiled, his teeth stark white against the grime covering his face.

Placing his hand against Daniel's cheek once more, Jack gave a gruff cough and then began the slow excavation process.  


* * *

  
His breathing was harsh to his own ears and despite the cooling air, Jack was sweating. He pulled over another rock and placed it on top of the growing pile that was shoring up the vehicle. He stared at his hands, which were shaking despite his best efforts to stop them.

"Stop." Daniel's voice was soft in the growing darkness.

Jack turned to face him. His back was stiff and his left shoulder throbbed with a searing pain that had steadily worsened over the past few hours.

"Did I hurt you? Is there more pressure?" Jack gasped out in his attempt to catch his breath around the pain and exhaustion. He'd been so careful; he hadn't seen the car shift further onto Daniel, but maybe he'd missed it.

"You need to rest," Daniel said. "Just for a few minutes. It's getting dark."

"That's why I can't stop," Jack insisted.

"No, Jack. It's why you *need* to stop." Daniel was just as insistent. "You need to take a break, drink some water, eat some food."

Jack wiped at his face, the sweat stinging the open blisters on his hand. Bending over, placing his hands on his knees, he took slow careful deep breaths through his nose hoping to quell the nausea.

"Jack?"

Why did Daniel's voice sound so faint and far off? Was Daniel getting weaker? Was he bleeding to death underneath that stupid fucking car? Why the hell didn't the Viilliatae have seatbelts in their cars anyway? What kind of idiot had designed them anyhow? And why was he sitting on the ground next to Daniel when he didn't remember how he'd gotten there?

"Jack? Hey, come on, you're scaring me here." The urgent edge to Daniel's voice had Jack focusing on him in an instant. Daniel was frowning and his eyes were narrowed with concern. "Here." Daniel pushed the dented canteen towards Jack. "Drink some water. I think you're a little dehydrated."

He took it and sipped at the water. Jack reached out one hand to rest it on Daniel's upper back. "Sorry I haven't gotten you out of there yet."

"Almost, Jack." Daniel squinted at him in the fading light. "We're gonna be okay. You've been going non-stop since the accident. I think you can afford to take a little break. Adrenaline doesn't last forever."

Jack took one final sip and placed the cap back on the canteen.

"Eat a power bar." Daniel gestured to his pack. "You need the calories."

"Not right now." Jack doubted anything was going to stay in his stomach for long, not while trying to quell the churning nausea with every breath. He really couldn't see the point of wasting food they probably would need later.

"Five minutes then," Daniel said. "Give yourself five minutes to rest."

Jack shook his head, ignoring the ringing in his ears. "We're close, Daniel. I don't want you stuck under there overnight." Sweat had soaked his shirt and Jack shivered as a slight breeze brushed across the dampness.

"I don't want to be stuck under here overnight either, Jack, but you're not going to be able to get me out of here if you fall over. Now sit down and rest."

Wincing at the renewed pain in his hands when he gripped the shovel once more, Jack ignored Daniel and renewed his slow, steady work.

"Jack, please," Daniel kept insisting. "Take a break."

Jack turned, slamming the shovel onto a nearby rock. "Will you shut up? Just stop it! I need to get you out of here. There's no time. It's going to be dark in about an hour. God, Daniel, I'd think you'd want me to dig you out. I'm doing the best I can." Jack banged the shovel onto the rock again. He swallowed the bile in his throat, dropping the shovel to grab a smaller rock.

"I know you're doing your best, Jack." Daniel's voice was soft, quiet and Jack closed his eyes as if by doing so he wouldn't hear the apology in the words.

Getting to his knees, Jack's arm brushed against Daniel's hip as he maneuvered the rock into place. Just a few more inches and Daniel would be free. Getting to his feet would be more trouble than it was worth so he crawled the few feet back to the shovel. He grabbed it, wedging it into the ground to pull him up, and wondered why it didn't work.

"Damn it!" Jack looked at the broken shovel in disgust. He pushed his hands against the ground and gained his feet. He kicked at the shovel, cursing at it and bureaucrats who didn't know their ass from their elbow. It skittered across the rocks, the sound causing him to wince in annoyance.

"Jack? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Daniel was facing away from him and the alarm was evident in his voice.

"Fine. I'm fine." Jack walked around the car so that Daniel could see him. He knelt down by Daniel's side, making sure Daniel saw him. "The shovel broke." He felt Daniel's hand resting on his lower back, right above the waistband of his BDU's. Jack bent his head and savored the warmth, the strength that flowed from those fingers into his body. He reached behind himself and gently squeezed Daniel's hand before bending forward and reaching under the vehicle to begin scooping out the mud with his bare hands.

"Jack." Daniel's voice was low, deadly calm, and Jack risked ignoring him, not wanting to hear the continued pleas for him to stop.

You'd think the person whose life you were trying to save would be grateful. Jack clenched his fist in the mud, the cool dirt soothing the heat of the open blisters, a good pain.

His hands brushed against Daniel's left calf and Jack felt the leg twitch. He sent up a silent prayer of thanks. The mud was warmer here. Jack pushed his fingers down into the ground, wondering how much of Daniel's blood contributed to the dampness of the soil.

"Jack, wait. Stop. I think I can get out."

Jack rested his forehead on the twisted metal of the car frame, relishing the coldness of the metal on his overheated skin. He closed his eyes, knowing he should move back to help Daniel but not able to summon up the energy to do so. He breathed through his mouth, still working to quell the nausea in his stomach. Daniel had probably been right. He was dehydrated, exhausted, needed rest, and food. Little grunts and the sucking sound of Daniel's legs being pulled through mud measured Daniel's progress.

He turned his head, opening one eye to see Daniel halfway out from under the car. Daniel had a look of grim determination of his face. If Daniel could do it, he could too. Jack scrambled on hands and knees to get behind Daniel. He hooked his arms under Daniel's armpits and braced his legs on either side of Daniel's torso.

"A few more good pushes and you'll be out." Jack gave an experimental tug, relieved when there was no sign of pain.

"Okay, okay, okay." Daniel came out the rest of the way, almost slithering. Jack pulled at him once more and fell backwards, Daniel resting atop him.

"Oh God." Daniel's chest heaved against his and Jack brought up his arms to hug him only to have Daniel slide off of him and rest on his back by Jack's side.

He was laughing. Daniel was laughing. The little shit.

Jack turned his head and looked at Daniel's face, the side that had rested in the mud, filthy and scratched, the other side clean except for some bloody streaks where Jack had trailed his fingers. Daniel looked horrible, Jack thought, wanting to raise a hand to touch him but unable to bring his fingers off the ground. Horrible, but terrific and alive. Daniel turned his head at that moment, his eyes a startling blue against the dirt. Jack smiled.

"Pushing...oh God, pushing? It should have been pulling, Jack. You made it sound like I was giving birth." Daniel started laughing again, his breath coming out in gasps between the spurts of laughter.

He stared at Daniel as if the other man had gone completely nuts. Jack's left shoulder throbbed in time with each thump of his heart and he felt almost dizzy, whether from exhaustion or relief he couldn't quite tell.

"Pop," Jack said, the image of Daniel slithering out from beneath his prison playing again in his mind. "Pop. You just popped out of there." Little bubbles welled up in his chest and he gave a rough laugh.

Those words sent Daniel off into gales of laughter once more and Jack felt some of his own tension being released by the sound. He lay on his back, letting his arms fall to the sides and listened, letting his eyes drift closed. There was a hand resting on his face, cupping his cheek and Jack turned towards its warmth. He was so cold, but Daniel was alive, Daniel was safe, he told himself as he let the fears of the last few hours melt away, along with what little strength he had left as darkness swirled up to meet him.  


* * *

Tugging. Someone was tugging at his hand. It hurt and he didn't want anyone touching it.

"Ow, damn it." Jack opened his eyes and looked up into Daniel's startled face. "What the hell are you doing, Daniel?"

Daniel blinked and his mouth drew into a tight line. "Just finishing wrapping up your hands," Daniel said and cast his gaze downward. "Those blisters are nasty."

Jack recognized the expression, the 'don't mess with me' one as he tried to pull his hand away and felt Daniel's strong fingers grip his wrist preventing any movement.

"It hurts." Jack went for complaining.

"Yeah, well, that's what you get for digging in the dirt with open blisters."

He turned his head to study Daniel better. The short clipped tones meant Daniel was pissed or...Jack let his gaze travel to Daniel's hands and noted the faint trembling as he wrapped the gauze over Jack's palm...scared. Scared, that was it.

"So? I was supposed to leave you under the car?" The words didn't come out sounding quite as much of a joke as Jack hoped.

Daniel tucked in the end of the gauze and looked up at Jack. Despite the dirt, Jack could see the paleness of Daniel's skin and realized that they were no longer next to the car. Jack hadn't failed to notice the awkward motions of Daniel's hands, the way he hadn't used his left hand for more than holding the bandage in place. And as the last bits of sleep fogginess cleared, he also tuned into the fact it was no longer light and he was warm because he was lying next to a small campfire.

"You've been unconscious for three hours, Jack." Daniel's tone was low and quiet, laced with a combination of fear and relief as he brought the canteen to Jack's lips, tilting it so Jack could drink. "I couldn't get you to wake up."

"Hey." Jack brushed his fingertips across Daniel's knee, wanting to grip it but unwilling to bend his fingers. "Hey." He repeated until Daniel looked at him. "Sorry." The memory of Daniel's blood on his hands had him studying Daniel's face. "You? You were bleeding. And your arm." He touched the wrist, feeling heat and swelling where none should be.

Daniel shrugged. "Just some scrapes and scratches. I got it stopped, wrapped it." He pointed to his calf where shredded fabric barely covered blood spotted white gauze. "I'm okay." He pointed to his left arm. "Just bruised it a bit. It'll be fine. I'll be fine."

Jack said nothing for a time, sliding his fingers down to Daniel's, feeling them move under his. Sprain. Probably sprained along with badly bruised.

"I'm okay too, Daniel." Jack rolled onto his side and placed his hand against the ground to push himself up. He didn't like the flat intonation of Daniel's speech, a sure sign Daniel was on edge. He swore aloud as burning pain shot from his palm up his arm. Damn that was stupid.

"Stay there." Daniel pressed a hand to Jack's shoulder; his fingers cool against the heat of what Jack believed was a strained muscle. "Can't have you messing up my bandaging job."

Jack closed his eyes for a second, relieved that Daniel didn't want him to sit up. His stomach hurt like a son of a bitch and Jack thought digging your best friend out from under a wrecked car probably worked muscles you didn't even know you had. He moved his hand to his abdomen, rubbing in small circles to ease the pain, surprised at how hard and stretched the skin felt.

Daniel covered Jack's hand with his own and then pushed it aside, his fingers sliding inside Jack's shirt. Jack's breath caught in his throat as Daniel gently flattened his palm against Jack's torso. Normally the movement would provoke the same reaction for much different reasons.

"That hurt?" Daniel murmured.

"Burns. I think I pulled something. It'll be okay." Jack opened his eyes to stare at Daniel. He held up his hand, making a show of examining the bandages on his hands.

"So, Danny, you learn this in Mummy Making 101?"

Daniel stared back for a long moment, unblinking, and then responded in a serious tone. "No, wrapping is a second year course. In 101 we learned how to pull the brain out through the nose." The slight twitch of Daniel's lips gave him away.

Jack couldn't help it. He burst out laughing. Like Daniel's laughter of relief hours before, Jack released the tension he'd felt over their predicament. He pulled his arms tight around his ribs, trying to ease the pain he felt as his body shook with laughter.

"Remind me never to piss you off," he finally said, wiping his eyes with one hand.

"You do piss me off, Jack, frequently," Daniel whispered and he reached out to wipe at Jack's mouth with a tissue. "But I love you anyway." The smile that had recently graced Daniel's face faded as he looked at the tissue he'd used to wipe Jack's mouth and quickly stuffed it deep in a pocket.

But not quickly enough. Jack saw what was on it. He swallowed, tasted copper, and felt his heart sink. This was so not a good sign. Daniel was in no shape to walk anywhere, not with cuts and abrasions that were still oozing blood and Jack was bleeding somewhere inside. A sharper pain ripped through Jack's midsection. He knew with a deep certainty there was internal bleeding and he had no idea how the hell they were going to get out of this alive.

"Jack?" Daniel whispered. He was lying down next to Jack, the heat from his body warming Jack's back, his arms snaking around Jack's chest.

"Yeah, Daniel." Jack rested his bandaged hands over Daniel's colder ones. He rubbed the fingers with his thumb. "I'm here. Not leaving you. Apophis isn't going to get you. Shot you. Sorry."

"No Jack, I'm okay. Apophis is dead, remember?" Why did Daniel sound so worried and scared? Jack couldn't remember, didn't remember. Should he have? But Daniel was still talking.

"Need to get up the hill." Daniel's words were little puffs of air on the exposed skin of Jack's neck. "You. Help." Wetness trickled down Jack's back and he didn't know if it was his own sweat or tears from an exhausted Daniel.

"Not enough time, Daniel." Jack swallowed again, the copper taste more pronounced. "Stupid way to go, huh?"

"Yeah, stupid." Daniel moved closer. "Together though." He nuzzled Jack's neck and Jack shivered as Daniel's tongue traced a circle on the sensitive skin behind his ear. "Always together."

"Always, Daniel. Gonna sleep now. Okay? Wake me in a little while," Jack whispered, the pull of darkness too seductive, too strong to resist.

"Love you," Daniel replied. "Sleep. Dream."

There was a kiss placed like a benediction on his neck. Jack opened his mouth finding it easier to breathe. Daniel's arms tightened around him. Safe, he felt safe. There was nothing to fear in the darkness. Daniel was with him as he always was. He was so tired; so weary. Jack sighed and concentrated on Daniel's heart beating against his back, Daniel's breath in his hair, Daniel's body molded against the length of his. He couldn't let go yet. Couldn't risk sleeping and not waking up to Daniel by his side.

"Daniel?" Jack felt Daniel's hands tighten and then relax against his chest. "How bad?" When there was no answer, Jack moved his hand to Daniel's wrist, biting his lip when he felt a pulse. He gripped it tighter not sure why his hand was shaking.

"You're gonna be fine, Jack. They'll find us and get you home. Janet will fix you up." Daniel shifted against Jack and his face rested on Jack's neck. Skin that had been warm minutes, or was it hours earlier, was now cool.

"You. How bad, you?"

"It doesn't hurt, Jack," Daniel said into the night. "Seems like it should but it doesn't. Guess I should be thankful for small favors, huh?"

"Fire's going out," Jack remarked, hating the loss of its meager warmth.

"I'll get...later, sorry." Daniel moved closer and Jack relished the connection.

"Rest. We both need rest." Jack patted Daniel's hand, noting with detachment that the movement was awkward and difficult. Just a little bit of sleep and then they'd be able to think about what to do next.  


* * *

"Jack! Jack, wake up."

He opened his eyes at Daniel's continued urging and slammed them shut when the bright lights overhead caused them to water. There was a loud noise and he swore the ground was shaking. Great, all they needed was an earthquake to round off the perfect day.

"They're here, Jack. Wake up." The nagging now turned into Daniel shaking his shoulder.

"Not quake?" Jack asked. He really wanted to keep sleeping and didn't know why Daniel was trying to wake him up. He was nice and cozy just as he was.

"No. Not an earthquake."

Jack opened his eyes slower this time. He couldn't ignore the lights any longer. Bright lights illuminated the rocks and washed out the firelight.

"Sir? Daniel?" That was Carter's voice. Wasn't she supposed to be back on Earth? Just where the hell had she come from? Warm hands, not Daniel's hands, slipped onto his neck.

"Cold," Jack said. "Cold." Why the hell was he back in Antarctica? He didn't remember going through the gate.

"Let's get a stretcher down here." Whoa, this was strange city. That sounded like Doc Fraiser's voice, except she sounded angry at someone.

"DanielJackson, you are not walking up the hill. There is a stretcher available for you also." Teal'c was behind him, Jack thought he could feel the warmth of the bigger man.

Daniel wasn't protesting and Jack tried to turn over to see. In his experience a quiet Daniel was not a good thing.

"Okay, let's get moving people." That was Doc Fraiser again and Jack felt a sting in his wrist. "You awake, Colonel? Can you tell me where it hurts?"

"Huh?" Jack thought it was a pretty good response all things considered.

He saw Carter bending close, so close he could smell the vanilla shampoo she used. She was smiling but the smile looked fake, plastic.

"We're taking you home sir. You and Daniel."

"Good," Jack sighed and then coughed. "Home is good."

Fraiser's hands were at his face and he realized that she was placing an oxygen mask over his nose and mouth.

"Daniel?" he asked, needing to know.

"You're both going to be fine, sir." Carter patted the hand resting across his abdomen. "Daniel will be right behind us."

He could hear Daniel arguing with someone, his voice urgent and growing louder. Jack concentrated on breathing and watching the bright light grow ever closer. Wondered how that happened. He'd have to ask Carter, no, not Carter, she'd go on for days about some physicy stuff. Daniel, Daniel would tell him. He needed Daniel with him. Together, that's what Daniel had said.

"Open those fluids and let's get moving, people," he heard Fraiser's voice sounding hollow and echoing in his brain. And the light grew brighter and brighter and he was whooshing through a wormhole, but it wasn't the gate and how strange was that?  


* * *

He was warm, but not hot, and the ground wasn't hard anymore. Jack moved his legs and realized he was in a bed. Not his bed at home because when he stretched his right arm out at home he usually encountered Daniel, not cold metal.

"Colonel? Colonel O'Neill?" a tenor voice inquired. "Can you open your eyes for me?"

Jack rolled his head from side to side. He didn't want to open his eyes but he had a feeling that if he didn't someone was going to be angry with him. "Unhhgh." Oh, fer crying' out loud, that didn't sound so good. He opened his eyes and saw Lieutenant Ben Rivera standing by the bed.

"I'm just going to ring Doctor Fraiser and let her know you're awake, sir." Ben pushed a button, fiddled with some IV lines, and pressed a spoonful of ice chips to Jack's lips all within the space of a few seconds.

Jack opened his mouth, relishing the coolness of the ice, enjoying the slow trickle of water down his throat.

"Ah, Colonel O'Neill." Doc Fraiser was there, both professional and mothering instincts in full force. "Glad to see you've joined us." She smiled at him and her eyes crinkled at the sides.

"Doc," Jack acknowledged, his voice raspy. He nodded as Ben offered him a water glass with a straw, sipping at it and swallowing away the awful taste in his mouth. His legs and back ached as though he'd been sleeping for days in exactly the same position. His hands burned. Jack moved his legs, searching for a cool spot on the covers and grimaced as pain shot across his abdomen.

"You've had surgery, sir." Fraiser bent closer and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You had some abdominal bleeding and we had to repair the tear. You are going to be fine. Out of commission for a few months but fine."

"Don't remember." Jack took another sip of the water he was offered. "You were there?"

"I was." Fraiser smiled again, although Jack felt she wasn't telling him the whole story. "Now it's time for you to get some more sleep."

Jack reached out and grabbed her wrist, dismayed at the weakness he felt. "Daniel? Where is he?"

"You're still in intensive care, sir. We have Daniel in the regular ward." At Jack's frown she continued. "We're just going to keep you here for a few more hours to be sure and then we'll move you."

"Hurt?" Jack asked. He didn't want to sleep anymore, but he was getting too tired to keep his eyes open.

"Daniel needed some stitches in his leg. He's going to be just fine, as are you, sir." Fraiser slipped her hand onto Jack's arm and he closed his eyes once more, letting the beeps of the monitors lull him to sleep.  


* * *

He was somewhere different. Jack could sense the change in his surroundings before he even opened his eyes. And his team was there with him. He knew it with a certainty.

"Daniel?" He licked dry lips as he opened his eyes.

"Good morning, sir." Carter sounded unbelievably cheerful. Jack rubbed his eyes and stared at her.

"You're not Daniel." Jack reached out to grab hold of the bed rail, immediately regretting it when he remembered the blisters he'd acquired. He stared at the pristine white bandages. "I need to see him."

"You will, O'Neill." Teal'c covered Jack's hand with his own, not allowing him to get up. "He is in the bed next to you."

Jack turned his head a fraction, able to see Daniel asleep. The covers were pushed to one side exposing the leg Daniel had injured to the air. Even though Jack couldn't see the wound up close and personal, he was able to discern a line of black stitches over the orangey color of Betadine. Daniel's left arm was propped on a pillow, wrapped in an elastic bandage.

"I need to talk to him."

"No, you do not." Teal'c moved again, blocking Jack's view. "He is resting. DoctorFraiser has given orders that his rest is not to be disturbed."

Jack let out his breath in what could only be described as a huff.

"He's got a slight infection, sir," Carter added, just enough to make Jack feel guilty for even thinking of waking Daniel up.

"As do you, O'Neill," Teal'c noted.

So that must be why he felt so weak and wrung out. He wondered how many hours he'd slept and why he still felt like he could use some more, but damn it he wished Daniel would wake up and say he was okay.

"It's okay to go back to sleep, sir. Teal'c and I will stay right here." Carter seemed to sense his distress.

He wanted to talk to Daniel, but the drugs being pumped into his system were conspiring against him. He hoped the next time he awoke Daniel would be awake too.  


* * *

Quiet voices intruded on his consciousness, the urgings of Doc Fraiser and some of her nurses trying to get him to cough and prodding at his incision and his hands a vague memory.

"O'Neill is awake," Teal'c said, announcing it to the infirmary Jack supposed.

He opened his eyes to be met with Carter's smiling face.

"Good morning sir." Why did she have to sound so damn chirpy? Didn't she realize he wanted to be left to suffer in peace?

"Daniel?" he croaked out, his mouth dry again.

"Hey Jack."

Jack turned his head towards the voice. Daniel was sitting in a wheelchair next to the colonel's bed, his left leg propped on the leg rest while his left arm rested in a sling. He studied Daniel's face. The scrape didn't look any better now that it had cleaned up and Daniel's cheekbone was an artistically interesting blend of purples and blues.

"How're you doing?" Jack asked. He looked down to see Daniel's fingers curled gently around his own.

"Fine. I'll be fine." Daniel nodded. "You?"

" How do you think I feel? Like I have a bunch of stitches in my gut."

The crack didn't get the smile he'd hoped for from any of them. Carter looked paler than usual and Daniel only frowned at his words, studying their hands.

"Ah, Colonel O'Neill. Finally awake and ready to stop playing possum." Fraiser came up to stand beside the head of the bed while Teal'c stepped to the side. "Lieutenant Rivera and Captain Moore are going to come by in a few minutes and take you for a little walk." She studied the monitors a few moments longer and smiled, pleased at what she saw.

"Daniel, let's get you back into bed. I want to check those stitches in your leg and see how your wrist is doing."

"Hello? Major surgery here...he's just got stitches in his leg. How come I'm the one who has to get up and walk around while Daniel gets to laze around in bed?"

"Now, Colonel, I'm sure you're aware the sooner we get you up and moving the less chance you have of getting an infection or pneumonia. It's not as if I'm going to have them take you to the gym and force you to run a few miles on the treadmill."

Jack looked at Daniel, secretly pleased to see the smile on his partner's face and the haunted look gone for a few moments.

"We'll be back later, sir, Daniel." Carter got up from her chair and stretched.

"Bring me a beer when you come back, Carter," Jack said.

"Oh yes, sir. Perhaps you'd like a pizza to go with it? I'm sure I can get Domino's to deliver out here." Carter grinned. "Of course they might have a problem going through security."

"One word, Carter: insubordination."

She laughed, ducking her head a moment later. When she looked back at the two of them she was serious. "I'm glad you're both okay. Teal'c and I will be back in a few hours." With that, she turned to leave, Teal'c's hand coming up to rest on her shoulder.

"I am glad you both are recovering," Teal'c added before leaving with Carter.

Jack watched them go before looking at Daniel who was staring into space.

"Hey, you okay?" Jack asked. He glanced around hoping for a few minutes reprieve before the nurses came.

"Me? I'm fine, Jack." Daniel pasted a smile on his face that Jack knew was false. He let Doc Fraiser wheel him the few feet to his bed, allowing her to serve as his crutch as he maneuvered back into bed. Fraiser pulled the curtain around Daniel's bed and Jack sighed.

"Good morning, Colonel O'Neill." Captain Moore gave him her broadest grin as she pulled back his blankets. "Ready for a walk in the hall?"

"Not really," Jack answered, "but I guess you're gonna make me do it anyway."

"You realize that all the nurses take special courses in how to torture our patients, don't you? We really work at it." She positioned herself at his legs while Rivera stood towards his head.

"Well come on then. We may as well get it over with." Jack gritted his teeth, knowing it was going to be painful.

"Just relax and do what we say, sir. We'll take all the time you need," Ben reassured.

Jack sighed as they helped position him to get out of bed. He wished this was already over.  


* * *

  
"He's sleeping again?" Jack asked Fraiser as she handed him a cup of water after his short walk through the hall with Moore and Rivera.

"Daniel has an infection. His temperature is slightly elevated and right now the best thing for him is sleep and rest, and you should be doing the same, sir."

Jack nodded as he finished the water. He was more tired than he wanted to admit but felt proud of the accomplishment of walking through the hall and not falling flat on his face.

"Is he going to be okay, Doc? Daniel seems, I don't know, pretty subdued."

"He's going to be fine." She wrote something on his chart. "It was close, sir."

"I knew he was lying. His leg was worse than he let on," Jack nodded in understanding.

"Not him, sir...you." Fraiser put the chart on the bedside table. "We were lucky we found both of you when we did. Any longer and..." the petite doctor let her comment hang, the silence making her point as clearly as if she'd finished her thought.

Jack rubbed the edge of the sheet between his thumb and forefinger, noticing a little nub where the thread had caught. He didn't want to think about it, didn't want to remember the bright light, the tunnel he knew wasn't the Stargate. He'd been dying and Daniel was ready to die with him. Anger, fear, guilt, and weariness fought for control. He looked up as Fraiser's hand covered his, amazed such a small hand could save lives.

"You're going to recover, sir. Believe me. You'll need to take it easy for awhile, but you'll be fine and so will Daniel."

She smiled down at him and Jack nodded. He was going to make sure Daniel was okay with everything that happened on the planet. Then Jack yawned and mumbled an 'I'm sorry.'

"Don't be, Colonel." Fraiser patted his hand once. "You need rest." "If you need anything, just give a ring." She placed the call button on his pillow, leaving with brisk efficiency.

Jack rolled his head towards Daniel's bed. Daniel's eyes were open and he was watching Jack.

"Hey, Daniel." Jack lifted two fingers in acknowledgment.

"Jack," Daniel said, his voice husky. "You walked?"

"Yeah, I walked. Miracle, huh?" At Daniel's unblinking stare and expressionless face, he continued. "Well actually it was more of a slow bent over shuffle, but I did move."

A brief smile graced Daniel's lips. "Good." He frowned as he looked down at his leg. "Janet said I need to use a wheelchair for a couple of days." He pointed to his arm. "No crutches."

"Daniel? We need to..." Jack wasn't too surprised when Daniel closed his eyes, but his words chilled Jack.

"No, Jack, we don't. You're okay. I'm okay. Everything is okay. We're both going to be fine," Daniel stated in clipped tones. He turned onto his side, letting out a small groan as he moved.

So that's the way it was going to be. Jack closed his own eyes. He needed to come up with a plan, but first he needed to regain his strength, get himself and Daniel home. Sometimes the best strategy was to wait things out.

He woke up a few hours later to the sound of Carter and Teal'c discussing something in low voices.

"O'Neill," Teal'c said as Jack opened his eyes.

"Teal'c, Carter." Jack cleared his throat and accepted the glass of water Carter handed him. She scooted back in her chair, giving Jack a view of Daniel who was lying on his side watching them.

"So, Carter. How did you find us? We weren't due back for hours were we?"

"No, sir." She shook her head. "The Viilliatae contacted us. Their government requires a tracking device in all vehicles. The alert was activated when your vehicle went off the road and crashed."

Jack could see her warming up to the subject. Oh great, another piece of alien technology he was sure she wanted to get her hot little hands on.

"The others," Daniel said. Jack looked at him, noting the glazed look indicating a fever. "They were racing."

"Yes, DanielJackson. The remains of one of the vehicles were found sixteen kilometers from the accident site. It was destroyed when it impacted with a cliff side."

"The government is tracking the other vehicle. The driver will be charged with murders of M'rin and the driver of the other vehicle," Carter added.

"Good," Daniel returned softly.

When Carter looked at Jack he shook his head, pursing his lips to indicate she shouldn't discuss it further. She tapped her fingers on her leg, her eyes darting from Jack to Daniel and back again. Jack made a small shooing motion with his fingers and she narrowed her eyes. Jack continued to watch her and motioned with his head towards the door.

"Teal'c. We've been here quite awhile. I could use your help on translating the Goa'uld writing on that device we found on, uh, PT6-778." She stood and walked over to Daniel's bed, bending down to brush hair back from his forehead and planting a chaste kiss there.

"Sir." She came to Jack's bedside, holding onto the bedrail, her knuckles whitened from the strength of her grasp on the rail.

"Do I get a kiss too, Carter?" Jack puckered his lips.

"Sorry, sir, against the regulations," she laughed, although it was forced. He could tell the effort it took her not to turn back to gauge Daniel's reaction to their little scene. "And besides, Daniel got a kiss on the forehead."

"Only because you act like he's your little brother." Jack couldn't see past her but he did hear a small sound that might have been a chuckle from Daniel.

"Then you would be my father, sir."

"Indeed, O'Neill." Teal'c stepped up to the bed and touched Carter on her shoulder.

"Hey I'm not that old," Jack complained as the two of them left. He rolled his head to look at Daniel and took in the half smile on Daniel's face. "Well, I'm not."

"No, Jack, you aren't," Daniel murmured. The smile disappeared. "We didn't find anything on PT6-778."

"We didn't? Are you sure? You do have a fever and concussion, you know." Jack felt his heart sink in his chest.

"No and yes. Slight fever and nothing more than a mild headache." Daniel sighed and turned onto his back. "Doctor Fraiser said I'll be out of here in a few days. She's probably going to keep you another week."

"So, uh, you okay with everything?" Jack was so tired. Verbally sparring with Daniel for ten rounds was the last thing he felt like doing.

"Yeah. Everything is okay." Daniel fell silent and Jack laid there, the medications being pumped into his veins letting him drift to a lake where the fish were biting and Daniel was by his side.  


* * *

  
"You ready to go?" Daniel stood by Jack's bed, arms folded across his chest. Jack was conscious of Daniel following every slow cautious movement as he finished buttoning his shirt and stood up.

"Yeah, Doc said I'm sprung." Jack slid his watch over his wrist. "How're you doing?" He motioned to Daniel's arm, knowing venturing beyond that was too treacherous for the infirmary.

Daniel unfolded his arms, bending his left wrist. "Still a little stiff but it'll be okay."

"Good. That's good."

Jack frowned at the nurse who was standing nearby with a wheelchair. She stared back at him, unfazed by his colonel's 'what do you think you're going to do with that' scowl.

Daniel's lips twitched. "Just sit, Jack. You'll be walking enough when you get home."

Jack gave an exasperated sigh and sat down in the wheelchair. "Does this make any sense? When I wanted to stay in bed you made me get up and walk and now when I want to walk you make me sit down?"

"It makes perfect sense, Colonel."

"Oh hi, Doc." Jack gave Fraiser his most charming smile. "I didn't know you were there."

"Yes, I figured you didn't." Fraiser smiled back at him. "I want to see you in three days. No lifting, no overdoing."

"Yes, Doc," Jack nodded and accepted the bag of medications she handed him.

"Daniel," Fraiser studied him, "you need to stay off your leg as much as possible. No overdoing for you either."

Jack exchanged a glance with Fraiser as Daniel gave a curt nod and started walking away.

"Doc?" Jack whispered.

"Going home is the best thing for both of you right now, " Fraiser said as she bent closer. "Take care, Colonel."

Jack nodded at her unspoken words of, 'and take care of Daniel too.'

The elevator ride to the surface never seemed so long before. Used to Daniel's usual chatter, or absent-minded shuffling of papers, the silence from Daniel was deafening, and the nurse didn't appear to have much of anything to say either. Jack opened his mouth a few times and then shut it when he realized a wise crack or two wasn't going to make the situation better.

He watched Daniel's back as he led the way across the parking lot, a limp marring his usual graceful gait. They stopped before Daniel's car and Jack allowed Daniel and the nurse to help him gain his feet.

"Thank you," Jack smiled at the nurse before she began walking away with the wheel chair after he was settled in the passenger seat. He realized Daniel must have moved the seat back as far as it could go because for once he had enough room to stretch out his legs.

She smiled back and waved before heading into the mountain once more.

Daniel closed the door, batting away Jack's hand when he went to do it himself so Jack leaned his head back and rubbed a hand through his hair. He closed his eyes and opened them a tiny slit to watch Daniel slide into the driver's seat and turn the key.

"Daniel?" Jack murmured when they got a few miles away from the base.

"You okay, Jack? I'll drive as carefully as I can." Daniel's words came out at full speed. "I didn't hit a bump did I?"

"No, fine and dandy here." Jack opened his eyes the whole way, noting the tight grip Daniel had on the steering wheel. "Just, you know, wondering what you've been doing since Doc released you from the infirmary last week."

"Oh..." Daniel didn't take his eyes off the road. "...I was busy. I had a lot of translations to catch up on. Janet said I wasn't allowed to leave the base." He said the last sentence with disgust.

"I wondered. Thought maybe that was it." Jack found a loose thread on his shirt cuff and fiddled with it.

"I sort of, you know, um, lost track of time." Daniel's voice rose, a sure sign of his agitation. "Sorry."

"It's okay." Jack turned his attention from Daniel to the road and then back again. "So, how're you doing?"

"Damn it, Jack." Daniel slammed the palm of his hand into the steering wheel. "I'm trying to concentrate here. Stop asking me that."

"Sorry," Jack said. He wanted to reach out and cover those shaking fingers with his own, but knew it would only backfire. Shutting up and thinking would be a good thing. There'd be time enough for talk when they got home and emotions could be given free rein. He reached towards the CD player, feeling the slight pull of stitches.

"I'll do it," Daniel muttered and pushed the play button. Jack pulled his own hand back. He needed Daniel; Daniel needed him, but he wasn't looking forward to a mother hen routine.

Jack turned his head towards the window and stared at the familiar sights.

"Fuck!" Daniel shouted as a driver turned in front of them without using a turn signal and he had to slam on the brakes. He hit the steering wheel again and this time Jack noticed Daniel's wince. "Learn to drive, moron!" He held up his middle finger to the retreating car.

"Pull over, Daniel." Jack kept his voice soft.

"We're almost home. Some people are idiots." Daniel ignored him.

"Pull over." When Daniel continued to drive, Jack waited until they came to a stop sign and held his hand over his abdomen. "Please, Daniel." He hated doing it, using his injury to get Daniel to stop.

"Oh God." Daniel pulled into a convenience store parking lot a short distance ahead. "Are you alright, Jack? Your stitches?"

"I'm fine. You're not." Jack eyed him as he sat with bowed head and shaking hands.

"I *am* fine," Daniel insisted. "I can't help that idiot who didn't know how to drive."

"Listen to yourself, Daniel. Hell, look at yourself." Jack pointed to Daniel's hands. "You're shaking. You're swearing at an old lady who is probably someone's grandma." Jack refrained from pointing out that if Daniel hadn't had his hands on the steering wheel he'd be giving himself one of his self hugs.

Daniel bent his head to the steering wheel taking in deep gulping breaths. "Guess I'm nervous. On edge. I didn't sleep very well last night."

Jack deciphered the Danielspeak. Didn't sleep very well translated to: didn't sleep at all. And last night most likely meant most of the week he'd been out of the infirmary.

"Take as much time as you need, Danny." Jack slid his hand across the seat and rested it on Daniel's thigh. "No rush."

"I need to get us home." The thigh muscles under Jack's hand tensed with the statement. Jack rubbed his hand along the strong thigh, relieved when the tension lessened slightly.

Jack continued the translation in his mind. Need to get home was Daniel on the verge of losing the tight control he had over the situation. Need to get home was Daniel trying to escape the nightmares. Jack felt Daniel's cold fingers close over his.

"I'm okay. I'm okay." Daniel patted Jack's hand once and then straightened. He looked at Jack. "Sorry about, uh, just sorry."

Jack pasted a false smile on his face. Need to get home in Jackspeak meant he was going to find out what the hell was going on in Daniel's complicated thought processes. "I could," he waved his hand in a circle, "you know, drive."

Daniel shook his head. "Janet would kill me." He gave a mock shudder as he pulled back out into traffic and changed the subject. "There's a casserole I can heat up for you when we get home. Sam made it."

"Sam? Sam who?" Jack asked, already plotting strategy.

"Sam Carter. Your 2IC. SG-1's female member. Our astrophysicist."

"Oh that Sam." Jack grinned before making a face. "Wait, you said she cooked? And you're going to feed it to me? You want me back in the infirmary?"

"Knock it off Jack. Sam's a good, well, adequate cook." He glanced over at Jack before making a right turn. "She means well. And she told me this time she followed a recipe so we should be safe."

"I'm telling you, Daniel, if we wind up back in the infirmary, Carter is so in trouble." Jack shook his finger at him, smiling as Daniel gave a small smile in return.

The rest of the trip home was made in silence: Daniel concentrating on his driving, Jack trying to figure out the best way to get Daniel to release his anger.

"Sit down, Daniel," Jack urged, patting the cushions after he'd allowed Daniel to do his mother hen routine a bit more and settle him on the couch. Of course Daniel shook his head and limped over to the desk, pulling out the chair and turning on the computer.

Leaning his head on the back of the couch, Jack realized he was unable to see Daniel from his position. Soft tapping in short bursts punctuated the silence of the room. Jack began to twist in order to keep an eye on Daniel and let out a curse as his still healing incision pulled from the movement.

"Jack?" Daniel was out of the chair in a flash and by Jack's side.

"Forgot I couldn't move that way." Jack held a hand to his side and took in a breath letting it out slowly through his nose. He smiled up at Daniel, shocked at the fear in his face. "I'm okay," he reassured Daniel. "But I think I'm going to go take a nap," Jack announced. He hoped he'd be able to persuade Daniel to join him. Daniel needed one as much as or more than Jack did.

"Take it easy," Daniel placed a hand under Jack's elbow and maintained a steady support until Jack was standing. "We don't have to rush."

"I can walk, Daniel," Jack grumbled, disgusted at his own weakness.

Daniel's hand fell away from Jack's arm and he took a few steps back, bringing his arms up across his waist in one of those self hugs Jack hated to see. "Sorry." Daniel kept his gaze fixed on the floor.

'Shit, O'Neill,' Jack berated himself. He glanced towards the stairs. "Hey, Danny?" He waited until Daniel's head rose. "I could use some help here." He wasn't above a little emotional blackmail if it got him what he wanted and Daniel needed.

"Yeah." Daniel once again came to Jack's side, lending his arms and support as they made their way to the bedroom. When they got there Jack sank down on the bed with a sigh of relief while Daniel closed the curtains and then came back to stand by the bed.

"You gonna be okay, Jack?" Daniel fiddled with the lampshade on the night table.

"I was sorta hoping you'd join me." Jack looked up at Daniel. He snagged Daniel's wrist as Daniel started to retreat. "Please, Danny. Do you know how long it's been since we had a chance to be alone together?"

Daniel opened his mouth, then shut it with a snap Jack could hear. He gave a brief smile before his face froze into its former impassiveness. "Yeah, Jack."

Jack turned onto his back and closed his eyes. He felt a tugging at his feet as Daniel untied his shoes and heard the thunk as the sneakers were tossed into a corner. Jack wiggled his toes. He felt the mattress dip as Daniel slipped into the bed on the other side.

"You're not going to be comfortable like that," Daniel warned. His fingers slid over Jack's shirt and began to undo the buttons.

"Uh huh." Jack didn't move. The energy he'd felt earlier disappeared. It wasn't fair. The first time he and Daniel had been able to be in bed together for a few weeks and he was too tired to enjoy it. Daniel's fingers finished with the buttons then ghosted over Jack's chest and abdomen, hovering over Jack's incision. Much as he wanted, Jack couldn't risk opening his eyes. He heard Daniel's breathing pick up as if he were getting ready to speak, to allow the fear and anger over the accident to find its way into words. But his hope died as Daniel lay down next to him, still silent. He heard Daniel punch his pillow a few times, turn from his side to his back, and then finally away from Jack.

Jack opened his eyes and turned his head, looking at Daniel's back. He longed to reach out a hand, to touch those tight shoulder muscles. He did nothing. He was afraid Daniel would run and this time in his current physical condition he wouldn't be able to catch him.

'Damn,' Jack clenched a hand in the sheet, frustrated by Daniel's stubbornness and his own cowardice to open this particular can of worms.  


* * *

Jack froze as the sound of the knife and fork falling to the kitchen floor seemed to echo in the silence of the room. Leaving a sleeping Daniel in the bedroom twenty minutes ago had seemed like a good idea at the time. Jack was hungry; Daniel was asleep, his body appearing relaxed. No way in hell was Jack going to disturb Daniel's needed rest.

He looked at the offending silverware and nudged it with his foot, sliding it under the table for the time being. Maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to reach it if he sat on a chair but he wasn't looking forward to it.

Ham, Swiss cheese, pickles, lettuce, tomato, mustard, mayo. Jack surveyed his loot from the refrigerator. He nodded in satisfaction and reached up to open the cupboard door and pull out a plate.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" A pissed off, disapproving Daniel stood in the doorway.

Jack pulled down the plate and wondered how long it was going to be until he could move without regretting his actions. He placed it on the counter, next to the bread. "I'm making a sandwich. That's what I'm doing."

"Sit down." Daniel nudged him with a shoulder. "You shouldn't be doing this. Why didn't you wake me?"

Covering Daniel's hand with his, Jack pressed it onto the counter. "I didn't wake you because you were sleeping, Daniel. You know... that thing you were supposed to be doing for the past few days? And Doc's restrictions didn't include making a sandwich."

Daniel pushed against Jack's hand, pulling the plate over. He started to untwist the tie on the loaf of bread.

"What are you doing?" Jack pulled the plate back. "I told you, I can make myself a sandwich, Daniel. Believe me, this doesn't require a lot of effort."

"I said sit down." Daniel closed his fingers around the edge of the plate even as Jack tugged it closer to himself. Jack stepped away from the counter, his hand still on the plate, one of Daniel's hands on the other side with the loaf of bread in the other.

"And I said I can make my own damn sandwich, Daniel." Jack gave a half-hearted tug. "Now let go."

"Sit down. Just sit the hell down," Daniel yelled, pulling at the plate.

Taken aback by Daniel's vehemence, Jack let go of the plate at the same time Daniel's hand slipped. The plate crashed to the floor, splintering into jagged pieces. Daniel stared at it a moment before looking at Jack.

"Look what you made me do. Damn it, Jack."

Jack took in the stiff posture, the look of shock and haunted eyes and knew the statement didn't have anything to do with a broken plate. He reached out to grab Daniel's shoulders not surprised to find the muscles quivering with tension.

" Daniel?" But Daniel continued staring at the broken pieces.

"You nearly died. And I couldn't do a thing about it." The words were almost inaudible. "Another piece of my heart dying."

"Daniel." Jack stepped around the shattered glass and tugged Daniel towards the chairs. If Daniel's white face was a sign he was going to faint or otherwise wind up on the floor, Jack knew he wasn't going to be able to pick him up. It was a hard enough job on a day when he was a hundred percent. Danny was no light weight.

Jack pulled out a chair, guiding Daniel into it before sitting down on his own. He maneuvered until he was sitting facing him, resting his hands on Daniel's knees. He knew what it was like to hit a wall, to find yourself fighting pain and fear and anger and not being able to understand why any of it was happening. He waited until Daniel raised his head and looked at him.

"Hey."

"Jack?" Daniel sounded lost. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and then opened them again. "I'm sorry about that. I don't know what..." He stopped at Jack's upraised finger.

"I know. I know what it's about, Daniel." Jack gave an inward sigh as Daniel wrapped his arms around his chest once more, body language screaming 'back off' even if his words did not.

"It's nothing, Jack. I must still be tired. I wasn't getting much sleep on base."

"Yeah, so you told me before." Jack wanted to pull those arms down and yell some sense into Daniel. Instead he forced his own hands to relax, releasing their grip on Daniel's knees and going on. "Guess you were busy working." Jack lowered his head and glanced up at Daniel gauging the other man's reaction, knowing he needed to tread softly. "So busy you couldn't find time to come to the infirmary."

Daniel shifted in his seat, his eyes darting to the side and then over the top of Jack's head.

"I understand, Daniel. I know why you couldn't come there; that coming there meant you had to see how close a call we had. I know you were, you are, scared shitless by this whole incident."

"I should have visited you."

"I knew why you weren't there even if you didn't. I knew you had to keep your distance."

Daniel shook his head. "It's my fault M'rin is dead. I wanted to see the Valley of the Gods. Wanted to explore. If I hadn't..." He stopped, shaking his head again.

"If you hadn't, you wouldn't be yourself, Daniel." Jack jiggled Daniel's knee.

"And M'rin would still be alive," Daniel said. "We were both in the front seat, Jack. Why her? Why did she die and I didn't?"

"You know I don't have an answer." Jack leaned back in his chair, sitting in silence along with Daniel. He leaned forward as Daniel began picking at a hole in his jeans.

"You died," Daniel whispered. He didn't take his eyes off the hole, which was growing larger as he pulled at the loose threads. Jack frowned at Daniel's apparent confusion as he continued.

"You died. I heard Janet when they brought me into the infirmary. Your heart stopped in the transport to the Gate. And all I could think was I didn't tell you goodbye. They wouldn't let me go with you. I told them I needed to be with you. I knew you were dying out there, Jack. I knew. I forgot to tell them how bad off you were. I just knew I had to be with you. And you died alone."

"You were ready to die with me, weren't you?" Jack thought back to hazy memories of Daniel snuggling up behind him on the planet, reminding him they were going to be okay and together.

"Yes." Daniel looked at him with bleak eyes. "I was. I was tired, Jack. Tired of being alone." He shrugged. "A coward's way out I suppose."

"Don't discount your pain, Daniel." Jack squeezed Daniel's knee. "You were injured, sick, and you couldn't do anything about it."

Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses up and rubbing his eyes. "I hate being helpless."

"You hate being out of control, Daniel," Jack prodded gently. "You hate it even more than I do."

"There was nothing I could do. After you pulled me out, I thought we could walk for help." Daniel rubbed his arms and Jack could see the goose bumps appearing on his pale skin.

"You're cold." Jack ran his hands over Daniel's forearms, not surprised to find him chilled. "Come with me." He stood, relieved he didn't need assistance to do so.

Daniel got to his feet, his glance going to the broken plate littering the floor.

"It can wait," Jack placed a hand on Daniel's shoulder and squeezed. "Come on."

Daniel gulped in air and nodded, allowing Jack to lead him back to the bedroom, his steps slow and hesitant, his limping more pronounced as adrenaline left his system.

"I'm not sleepy," Daniel said as Jack lay down next to him, pulling the comforter over both of them.

"I know, but you're cold. This is the best way I can think of to warm you up." Jack brought his hand out from under the covers and ran his fingers over Daniel's cheek. "Here," Jack took off Daniel's glasses, placing them on the night table. "Put your head here." He patted his chest, near his heart. Daniel shook his head but at Jack's frown he gave in with a sigh. "Comfortable?" Jack was on his back. He brought his arm up to encircle Daniel's shoulders, rubbing them slowly.

"Yeah," Daniel nodded, his hair tickling Jack's chest. "I'm not hurting you am I?"

"Not at all, Daniel. Not at all," Jack soothed.

"We were laughing." Daniel began speaking of their time on the planet. "We were laughing and then you stopped. I couldn't wake you up. I thought you were dead, that I killed you somehow."

Jack rubbed strands of Daniel's hair in his fingers, seeing for the first time a few silver strands mixed in among the light brown.

"I couldn't wake you up. I kept checking your pulse, checking that you were breathing. I pulled you away from the wreck. And I kept thinking the last real conversation we were having we argued. You were going to die and our last words were angry ones." Small puffs of air punctuated Daniel's speech, warming Jack's skin.

"I wasn't dead," Jack murmured. "God, I can't believe you managed to drag me away from the wreck."

"I could have killed you." Daniel didn't move from his position. Eye contact was too precarious at this time. "You were injured. My moving you could have killed you."

"You did what you needed to do, Daniel." Jack moved his hand from Daniel's scalp to his nape, massaging it lightly. "What's to say I wasn't doing the wrong thing in trying to dig you out? Our situations weren't so different." But Daniel was silent. Jack knew how his mind was working, running through all the possible outcomes and permutations, and focusing on the negative.

"Daniel." Jack remembered a conversation he and Daniel had when he was trying so desperately to dig Daniel out from under the car, when he knew Daniel was bleeding and possibly going to die. "You told me something on Viilliatae. When you were stuck."

Daniel shifted off of Jack's chest, propping himself up on one elbow, staring down at Jack's face and raising his eyebrows.

"I was starting to dig you out and you said, 'I trust you, Jack.' Do you think I'd do any less for you?" Jack rested his hand on Daniel's hip. "I trust you, Daniel. I trust you with my life. If I had died," Jack felt a shudder go through Daniel's body and continued in a more forceful tone, "If I * had * it wouldn't have been your fault. It wouldn't have been because you hadn't done your best to save me."

"I didn't know what else to do. Couldn't think. I froze."

"You were hurt, Daniel. Hell, I made it to the top of the hill and I didn't see a way out, not in the condition we were in. Neither of us knew where we were. First rule of being lost, stay in one place. Wait for rescue. Answer me this, if you would have died, would you blame me?"

"It wouldn't have been your fault, Jack." Daniel gave a wry smile. "And besides, if I died, I don't think I could play the blame game." He shook his head. "On Klorel's ship, I never blamed you. I wanted you to live. Have a chance."

Jack smiled back as Daniel's mouth formed into a silent 'oh.' "Well, there you go." He moved slightly, pulling Daniel's head back down and kissing him on the forehead. "Anyone ever tell you you're brilliant, Doctor Jackson?"

"Not lately, Jack. You want to remind me?" Daniel pulled back from the kiss. "Can you turn over, Jack?"

Jack rolled over, Daniel's hands at his back, helping him to turn. The familiar weight and warmth of Daniel's body spooned up behind him.

"Not hurting you, am I?" A murmur was breathed across his shoulder.

"Never." Jack spread his hand over Daniel's forearm where it rested across his waist. "I want you to live, Danny. If I die, I don't want to think of you dying too." He remembered this. Remembered lying this way on the planet, Daniel snug against him, protecting him, making sure he wasn't alone, making sure he knew Daniel was there with him to the end and beyond if need be.

They didn't often say the words. Sometimes there was no need. But sometimes, Jack realized, there was. A need to say the things felt deep in the heart. A need to make sure the person you loved knew it and was never taken for granted.

"I love you, Daniel," Jack said, his voice sounding loud in the still afternoon. There was no sound except for his breathing and Daniel's. Lips touched the junction between his shoulder and neck and he heard a quick indrawn breath.

"I love you too, Jack," Daniel responded in a firm voice.

"Good," Jack murmured. "Glad we got that straightened out." He heard Daniel snort and then felt him settle against his back once more.

Jack ran his hand up and down the length of Daniel's forearm, letting the fine hairs tickle his fingertips. Daniel's hand opened, his fingers curling slightly inward as he relaxed further, drifting into a light doze. The slight snore vibrated against Jack's shoulder and soft breaths tickled the hairs on his neck. Jack matched his fingers to Daniel's, letting the warmth of his own heat Daniel's skin and closed his eyes. He was safe. His life, his heart, was in Daniel's hands. He couldn't think of a better place for it to be.

  



End file.
